Lesson 4
I. Introduction
Read Gen. 1:1, 1:27, Psalms 148:5, Isaiah 41:20, Ephesians 2:10,
Colossians 1:16. God created not only everything around us but
he created us also. It's easy to see God's handiwork in a beautiful
sunrise, a snow-capped mountain, the smile of a healthy child,
or in ocean waves crashing on a sandy beach. But can we learn
to find his handiwork in the seemingly ugly circumstances----difficult
life lessons, a family tragedy, or a struggle for life?
II. Remember that everything has God's fingerprints on it!
When our life is filled with the desire to see God's handiwork
in everyday things, something great begins to happen. A feeling
of peace emerges. We begin to see the nurturing aspects of daily
living that were previously hidden to us. When we remember that
everything has God's fingerprints on it, that alone makes it special.
If we remember this fact while we are dealing with a difficult
person or struggling to pay our bills, it broadens our perspective.
It helps us to remember that God created the person that you are
dealing with and that that person has a soul that we need to be
concerned about. We need to understand that despite the struggle
to pay the bills, we are truly blessed to have all that we have.
Somewhere, in the back of your mind, try to remember that everything
has God's fingerprints on it. The fact that we can't see the beauty
in something doesn't suggest that it's not there. Rather, it suggests
that we are not looking carefully enough or with a broad enough
perspective to see it.
III. Resist the urge to criticize. Proverbs 9:8, 13:1,
13:6-8, Psalms 141:5, 10:4-7, 12:3, 15:1-3, 36:1-4, Titus 3:1-7
There is a distinct difference between constructive criticism
and destructive criticism. We are going to address criticism that
has as it's motive something other than concern for the soul of
the other individual. When we destructively criticize another
person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something
about our own need to be critical.
If you attend a gathering and listen to all the criticism that
is typically levied against others, and then go home and consider
how much good all that criticism actually does, you'll probably
come up with the same answer that most people do: zero! It does
no good. In fact it contributes to the anger and distrust that
we see around us. A person's reaction to criticism, is usually
to become defensive and/or withdrawn. A person who feels attacked
is likely to do one of two things: he will either retreat in fear
and shame, or he will attack or lash out in anger.
How many times have you criticized someone and had them respond by saying, "Thank you so much for pointing out my flaws. I really appreciate it?"
Obviously, as Christians, when our spiritual well being is in jeopardy this should be our attitude. But when it comes to things not easily connected to our spiritual lives are we so willing to accept it?
Destructive criticism, like swearing, is actually nothing more than a bad habit that we develop. It's something we get used to doing: we're familiar with how it feels. It keeps us busy and gives us something to talk about.
If, however, you take a moment to observe how you actually feel immediately after you criticize someone, you'll notice that you will feel a little deflated and ashamed, almost like you're the one who has been attacked.
The solution is to catch yourself in the act of being critical.
Notice how often you do it and how badly it makes you feel.
IV. Just for fun, agree with criticism directed toward you.
So often we are immobilized by the slightest criticism. We treat
it like an emergency, and defend ourselves as if we were in battle.
In truth, however. criticism is nothing more that an observation
by another person about us, our actions, or the way we think about
something, that doesn't match the vision we have of ourselves.
Again, let me tack on the disclaimer that if we are being criticized
for being Christians and following God's word carefully, our recourse
is to defend this with the written word, and not to agree in this
manner.
When we react to criticism with a knee-jerk, defensive response, it hurts. We feel attacked, and we have a need to defend or to offer counter criticism. We fill our minds with angry or hurtful thoughts directed at ourselves or at the person who is being critical. All this reaction takes an enormous amount of mental energy.
An incredibly useful exercise is to agree with criticism directed toward you. This is not to say that we turn ourselves into doormats or ruin our self esteem by believing all the negativity that comes our way. There are many times when simply agreeing with criticism defuses the situation, offers you a chance to learn something about yourself by seeing a grain of truth in another position, and, most importantly, provides you an opportunity to remain calm.
What would your reaction be to someone who told you that you
talk too much? At first, you probably would be hurt. But what
if you then agreed and said, "You're right, I do talk too
much sometimes." In agreeing with this person, you may be
able to see the truth in what they have said, and be more easy
to talk to.
Happy Verses: Romans 14:22, James 5:11, I Peter 3:14-17.