[Editor's Note: The complete series of Doug's lessons can be found at http//:www.geocities.com/cdillinger.geo/bibl.htm. This lesson deals with our topic of the month: Gossip and the Tongue.]
OUR CHRISTIAN LIVES: Reducing Stress and Enhancing Joy - Lesson 15 by Doug Yopp
Introduction. Read: Prov. 20:19, I Tim. 3:11, Prov. 10:18, Rom. 3:7-9.
If you are like most of us, there are times when you make innocent, fairly benign comments to others about a variety of things. You'll say things like, "Did you hear about so and so?", "Did you know that so and so did this or that?" sometimes you initiate the conversation. Other times you keep a conversation going without realizing that you're doing so. You'll embellish someone else's comments, share a story or example, get into too much detail, or ask one too many questions. Then, if you're like me, you'll wonder why you spend so much time on the phone and why you can't seem to get enough work done, or why your influence on others is not as great, or why people do not like to talk to you.
Avoid comments that are likely to lead to gossip or unwanted chatter.
On the surface, this may not seem like a really big deal until you consider how much time and energy you spend engaged in conversations that may not be entirely relevant, or may not be happening at an ideal time. Think about how often you feel stressed for time and energy. How often do you look back at your day and wish you could have had thirty more minutes to get something done or to simply catch up? Or think about how often you're in a hurry to complete something. However, for the Christian, there is the greater question-Am I doing and saying the things that God would want me to? If our conversation leads to gossip, we are wrong. If our influence or the influence of others suffers because of things I say, I need to change. It's easy to blame the world or people you talk to during the day for this problem, when, in fact, you may have played a significant role in the problem.
Obviously, there are many times when you want to be engaged in conversation with friends or coworkers, and that is perfectly fine. The trick is to become aware of when you are conversing out of habit rather than by choice, and to be aware of the direction that a conversation is heading.
This is a very powerful strategy because even if you add only an hour or so a week to your work life by virtue of biting your tongue or if you stop one slip of the tongue that could cost you dearly, it is worth it. This is not to suggest that you became antisocial or rude, only that you be careful of what and how much you say when what you say is likely to lead to further, perhaps unwanted, conversation or unwanted results.
Never, ever backstab
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and all they did was to moan and complain about their boss and many other people they work with? Within minutes you become an expert on the "dirt" in the company. If you believe their story the entire company is messed up. Except, of course, for him.
The sad part of it is that sometimes the person talking is
not even aware that they are doing it. It seems to be a part of
his or her ordinary conversation. Apparently, backstabbing was
something that they were in the habit of doing.
There are three very good reasons never again to backstab. First
and foremost, it is wrong in God's sight. It stirs up problems
between all involved, causes the Christian to loose influence
and respect, and can divide brethren in many ways. It is has been
said many times and many ways: if you don't have anything good
to say about someone, say nothing at all. Secondly, it sounds
terrible and makes you look bad. When you hear someone slamming
someone behind his back, it says nothing about the person they
are referring to, but it does say a great deal about their own
need to be judgmental. Thirdly, it creates stress, anxiety, and
other negative feelings.
The next time you hear someone backstabbing someone else, try
to imagine how the offending person actually feels--beneath the
confident, secure appearance. How does it feel to say nasty, offensive,
and negative things about someone else who isn't even there to
defend himself or herself? Have you ever found yourself having
just backstabbed someone and been left with an uncomfortable feeling?
You may ask yourself the question, "How could I have stooped
so low?" You simply can't win. You may get a moment or two
of relief from getting something off your chest, but you will
need to repent and apologize to the person you talked about, or
live with your words and their consequences for the rest of your
life.
Finally, it's absolutely predictable that if you backstab someone,
you will lose the respect and trust of the people you are sharing
with. It's important to realize that, even if they appear to enjoy
what you are saying, and even if they, too, are participating
in the gossip, there will always be a part of them that knows
that you are capable of backstabbing. They have seen it firsthand.
There are many of us who would never dream of saying anything
unkind to a person's face, but would not hesitate to say it behind
their back. Read: Psalms 10:4-11, 36:1-4, 101:6-8, Prov. 12:22,
II Kings 2:23-24.
Useless Religion by Allen Dvorak
(Contributed by B. McNabb)
In the days of the prophet Amos, the people of Israel were offering sacrifices of thanksgiving to the Lord, observing the festivals commanded in the Law of Moses, bringing their freewill and peace offerings and their tithes, and filling the temple with songs of praise to Him (Amos 4:4-5; 5:21-23; 8:3, 5). And yet God was not pleased with them! Why not?
In his preaching Amos identified many of the sins of the people. The poor were oppressed and cheated by the rich (Amos 4:1; 5:11; 8:4-6); the righteous could not receive justice in the courts of the land (Amos 2:6; 5:12) and the affluent were materialistic (Amos 4:1-3; 6:4-7), that is, concerned only about their material things. Idolatry and sexual immorality were rampant (Amos 4:4; 2:7-8). How could the same people who were worshipping the Lord with sacrifices and religious festivals also commit such acts?
The answer is that the people of Israel had separated their religious service to God from their daily lives. They offered a ritualistic worship to God which did not reflect heartfelt allegiance and then immediately returned to the sinful practices of their daily lives. For them, religion was only something to be practiced in the presence of a priest, on specific days or in a special place. The rest of the time they violated God's commandments regarding justice, righteousness and purity without remorse. What was God's reaction to such conduct? "I hate, I despise your feast days, And I do not savor your sacred assemblies. Though you offer Me burnt offerings and your grain offerings, I will not accept them, Nor will I regard your fattened peace offerings. Take away from Me the noise of your songs, For I will not hear the melody of your stringed instruments. But let justice run down like water, And righteousness like a mighty stream" (Amos 5:21-24).
God desires that we worship Him, but devotion to God which does not affect our daily conduct is useless religion. The Bible confirms that God has never been interested in receiving ritualistic religion divorced from daily life. We cannot live like a child of the devil from Monday to Saturday and then slip in among the sons of God on Sunday and expect that God will not notice, that He will accept our worship (1 John 3:8-10)! Even the irreligious recognize the inconsistency (hypocrisy?) in those who worship God on Sunday and cheat their clients on Monday, break the law on Tuesday, abuse their children on Wednesday, etc.
Mindless devotion to ritual does not make us better people nor glorify our Creator (read Matthew 23:23 for a clear application of this principle). We must "die" to the sinful practices of the world and allow Christ to live in us, not only on Sunday, but every day (Galatians 2:20)!
BIBLE INSIGHT is two and one-half years old with the publication of this issue. This is issue #130. I certainly want to thank everyone for his or her support, suggestions, and contributions. Special thanks go out to all the authors that have graciously allowed us to reprint their material. We are blessed to have so many fine and talented brethren working throughout this country and other countries as well. Do you have an article that you have written that could be published in this paper? We want to hear from you. What topics would you like to see covered? Are their authors that you really enjoyed? Email us or drop us a card at the building address and we will certainly consider your suggestions.
THE BOTTOM LINE
"Economic Forecast for 2001: It is unlikely there'll be a
reduction in the wages of sin."