Carey Dillinger, May, 1995
The Daily Commercial
I recently received an interesting phone call from a loyal reader of this column and with his permission will share the highlights of that conversation.
Riinnnggg!! "Hello, Dillinger residence."
"Uh-huh, is this the same Dillinger that writes the newspaper callyum?"
"Why it certainly is, I hope you've been enjoying my articles this past year."
"Wail I cain't rightly say I've been enjoyin' it every month, but sometimes you knock the nail rat on the noggin'."
"Thank you, I think? Sir, may I ask you your name?"
"This cheer is Earl Quartlow of Paisley, Florida and I've a re-quest for your next callyum."
"Sir, it is my desire to take the pulse of the people! Please say on."
"My pulse is normal. What I want is you to write a callyum for my twin gals, Bouta and Jesta. An' not o'ly fer them, but fer all the up and comin' gradjits of Paisley High School."
"Mr. Quartlow, I was not even aware that there was a Paisley High School and I've been employed in the Lake County school system all of my adult life."
"Wail, Mr. Newspaper Callyumnist, you mus' not git out to northeast Lake County very offen or you'd be a-knowin' all there is to know about the Neckties."
"You mean the Paisley Neckties?"
"Who else could I mean! Now are ya gonna write the gradjit callyum or ain't ya?"
"I do believe I will. Thanks for the idea! Bye!"
So, with no further ado, I present a column for Bouta Quartlow, Jesta Quartlow, all the graduating Paisley Neckties, along with every other senior in all of the real high schools in Lake and Sumter counties.
As with any topic there is bound to be good news and bad news.
First the good news: there will not be as many adults helping to run (ruin?) your life. Take your parents, for example ("please take them," you say). They have had their nose in your business long enough, haven't they? I mean, stuff like buying you clothes and expecting you to wear them or buying and preparing food and expecting you to eat it. Then they offer to help with the car and insurance payments... don't they want you to learn a little responsibility? It is time to move away, or at least move out. You could get a full time job, join the service, or go to college. You have plenty of options and none of the good ones involve the parental units, do they?
What about all the adults at the old Alma Mater. Namely, teachers, principals and counselors, but especially those teachers. It will be great to get rid of them won't it? They are always in your business, trying to tell you what is good for you, what you should or shouldn't do, who you should or shouldn't hang with and what you can or can't wear. They act just like your parents, maybe worse! You won't have to listen to anymore of that "you'll need to know this in college" nonsense. They'll be at the graduation ceremony and that's where you can really get in the last two words: "See Ya!"
Won't it be a blast telling off the boss down at the part time job at Itzza Burger, as you make that ultimate career move to full time at Taco Or Leave It. Man, in that new job you'll be getting 50 or 60 hours a week. You'll be working overtime, babee! You won't have to worry about what to do in your spare time, because you won't have any.
Some of you are luckier; you won't have to take much grief from you drill sergeant in the service, will you? Those pesky high school dress code violations will be a bad memory and your hairstyle will be, what's the word...? Regulation.
Luckier still are those of you that are college bound. It will be easy to sleep in a lecture hall with 500 other first year Calculus students. The professor probably won't take roll and he will never call your mamma, no matter what you do or don't do. No one will say, "You should have learned that in high school," will they? At the big universities it will be easy to get lost in the crowd. You'll even get to give up your identity to your student number. Man that will be cool, won't it?
Now for the bad news: there will not be as many caring adults helping to run your life.
In this world of the 21st century you will never be alone. However, you might be very lonely. No one or no thing can take the place of family. Unless you go to a very small college, you will never again receive the individual attention afforded you in high school. Your family and the memories of high school are a priceless commodity and not for sale. Graduates, please take one last piece of advice, for what it's worth. Never burn your bridges behind you because they are your only way back to your parents, teachers and friends. These are the people who for the past eighteen years have nurtured you, edified you, and helped to make you the important person that you really are. The prayers and best wishes of your families and teachers are with you.
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