Carey Dillinger, October, 1995
The Daily Commercial
You have probably noticed that RESPECT is the word of the month at many of our local schools. They have it on their marques and in their bulletins. The teachers are stressing it in their daily lessons and the principals are talking about it on the public address system. What is respect anyway?
The late soul singer and composer Otis Redding wrote a little ditty that Aretha "The Queen of Soul" Franklin made into a mega-hit. "R·E·S·P·E·C·T, find out what it means to me." After listening closely to the lyrics of this popular song you will come to realize that the Lake County Schools Sex Education Committee needs to review them before we have our school children singing it in honor of the word of the month. While the song obviously is an attention getter (especially the part about Aretha getting her "propers" when she gets home), it actually trivializes a word that has at least 10 different definitions any of which is a moral lesson in and of itself.
Space will not permit an examination of all aspects of every definition of respect, but perhaps a few examples will convince you that respect is more than the word of the month, it is the word of a lifetime. The meanings of words are important. Without the meaning a word is nothing but a worthless sound. F.F. Bruce, the former professor of Biblical History in Literature at the University of Sheffield (England), said it this way: "...words, divorced from their meanings, are but empty sounds; instead of being a vehicle of thought, they become a substitute for it." In the same article, Bruce went on to quote Thomas Hobbes the seventeenth century philosopher, scientist, and mathematician: "Words are wise men's counters; they do but reckon with them: but they are the money of fools." According to Bruce: "We must know what values to attach to them (words) if we are to profit by them."
Respect can be a thing to possess or an activity. Most of us are more interested in possessing the former than participating in the latter. That's too bad, because unless we are willing to give respect, it is unlikely that we will receive true respect.
Is there any among us that would turn down "a feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard." Or how about "the state of being regarded with honor or esteem." We could stand some of that action couldn't we? Aren't there times when we all feel we deserve respect? Whether we are parents, teachers, children, students, ministers, doctors, lawyers, or Native American tribal leaders, respect is something we all want and probably need.
Instead of worrying ourselves sick about obtaining the respect of others, let's go out this week and "show deferential regard for" someone else. Pass out a little "esteem" while we're at it. There are other ways to show respect for our fellow persons without violating the Biblical imperative to avoid respect of persons (discrimination).
·First, "avoid violation of or interference with" another person's private business. Respect their privacy, their possessions, and their person. Sometimes the greatest respect we can show someone is to just leave them alone.
·Second,we can demonstrate a "willingness to show consideration or appreciation" towards somebody. The action of a Boy Scout helping an elderly lady across the street is not corny, it's respect. Catching the door for a package laden holiday shopper is not just polite, it's respect. Standing for the national anthem and the pledge to the flag is not a requirement, it's respect. Removing your hat indoors is not some left over rule from some archaic dress code, it's respect.
·Third, we can pay our respects. "Polite expressions of consideration or deference" are always appreciated. Usually, we think of the dearly departed when we pay our respects, but we cannot forget the dearly living. A wedding, a birth, a baptism, an anniversary, and a promotion, all invite us us to pay our respects.
·Fourth, "a particular aspect, feature, or detail" may need to be emphasized or even ignored. If your significant other is perfect in every respect but one, forget that one and count yourself lucky.If your child's art project is perfect in only one respect (they kept the mess off of the carpet), then praise them for that.
As indicated earlier, respect has it's negative connotation. A good example comes from the New Testament, the book of James, the second chapter, verses one through four: My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, 'You sit here in a good place,' and say to the poor man, 'You stand there,' or, 'Sit here at my footstool,'have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?" (The New King James Version ) The words "pay attention" come from the Common Greek word epiblepo which literally means "to look upon"and is read by the King James translators as "have respect." Leave it to mankind to take a wonderful concept and misuse it.
Back to the Column Table of Contents