Lesson 1
I. Introduction
When things in life do not turn out the way we want, we have
certain ways that we react to them. Disappointment, bad news,
and difficult people all cause us to act or overreact, blow up
or focus on the negative aspects of the situation. Many times
this not only immobilizes us, but can cause frustration, overreaction
and sometimes abuse of others or ourselves.
As we do these things, we lose sight of the big picture: our goal
of getting ourselves and our family and friends to heaven. Many
times we alienate or annoy people around us who are really trying
to help us.
To live our lives as if it were one big emergency, rushing around, looking busy, trying to solve every problem, often compounds the problems we are dealing with.
Many of the things that I will be suggesting are from the book "DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...and it's all small stuff", by Dr. Richard Carlson. However, as with any book or publication, anything we look at or try to do must be taken only in the light of God's Word. The author is not a Christian, so what I have done is to take many of his ideas and see what the Word says about them and see if we can apply them scripturally in our lives. We all want to please God, and we know that we can do this by following his word, but it is sometimes difficult to see the practical applications to our daily lives. A while back we did the same thing with books by Gary Smalley, concerning our relationships as men and women.
This study will try to help us to first examine the problems
that come our way in light of the Word of God, and then to focus
on strategies that, hopefully, will help to turn stress and unhappiness
into joy and exhortation of ourselves and others.
II. Peter
If we are looking for some one as an example of a person who overreacted to situations, Peter seems to be a good choice. Many of us can easily identify with Peter's often quick and impulsive reactions. An example of this can be seen in the following passage:
John 18:10 -As the soldiers of the chief priests and Pharisees, are taking Jesus in the garden, Peter impetuously cuts off the servant's ear. Jesus tells Peter to put his sword into its sheath. Later on, as he stands in front of Pilate, he says in verse 36, "My Kingdom is not of this world. If my Kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight." Peter reacts as many of us would. When he sees the Lord being arrested by these soldiers for no justifiable cause, he takes the course of physically defending Jesus. However, had he thought about and understood many of the things that Christ had taught him and the others concerning his kingdom and his mission on this earth, he may have reacted in a different manner. As is the manner of every human being, we often swing to the opposite end of the reaction mode. In this case, Peter then denies that he even knows Christ (vs. 25-27).
III. Some strategies to help us to be less impetuous.
A. Breathe, and say a short prayer to God before you speak.
Short prayers, such as "Help me Lord", "Be with me Lord", "Give me patience, Lord", can give us the little time and focus that we need to be able to handle a situation in a Christlike manner. The immediate results that we will see include increased patience, added perspective, and, as a side benefit, more gratitude and respect from others. This strategy is not only helpful in stressful situations but also in every day conversation with one another. At first this time gap that you experience may seem like it lasts forever-but in reality, it amounts to only a fraction of actual time. It will bring you closer to and earn you respect from virtually everyone you come into contact with. You will find that being listened to is a great gift that you offer to someone else.
Have you ever noticed that in conversations with others many times all we are doing is waiting for our chance to speak. We do not really listen to what the other person is saying. We teachers are some of the worst. We often complete sentences for others or say things like, "Yeah, yeah," or "I know," trying to get them to finish their sentence so it is our turn.
When we are trying to teach the gospel to someone, it is important that we listen intently to what they say. This not only will give them a sense of added respect for what we say but will also cause them to listen more intently to what God says. Our goal in teaching others should be to get them to listen and obey the Word of God, but if we are not good listeners ourselves we will miss out on many opportunities to teach that come from the conversation of the person we are teaching.
This will also help you individually to eliminate the stress
that you bring on yourself when you are constantly trying to get
in your two cents and manage the conversation. Read Rom. 8:26,
I Cor. 14:15, I Thess. 5:17, 1 Tim. 2:8, James 5:13-16.
B. Do one thing at a time.
As a middle school Band Director, I have seen myself transformed
into the kind of person that can handle many different things
at once. I can read a 32 line conductor's score, deal with misbehavior,
fix a broken clarinet, explain what dynamics are, and drink a
cup of coffee all at the same time. This is not necessarily good!
This ability to do many things at once has also carried over into
my personal life. Have you ever caught yourself talking to a person
and find your mind drifting to somewhere else or to the next thing
that you want to accomplish? When we do many things at once, it
is impossible to be present-moment oriented. We lose out on much
of the potential enjoyment of what we are doing, and become less
focused and effective. Remember, our goal for eternal life for
ourselves, our family, and our friends. Matt. 28:19-20
C. Count to Ten
Have you known anyone who, when they became angry, counted
to ten? This is a strategy that some use to cool down before deciding
what to do next. This can be helpful, but I would like to suggest
maybe reciting in your mind one of your favorite verses from the
bible or maybe a verse of one of your favorite hymns. When you
finish, take a long breath and then
deal with the situation. Read Proverbs 14:17, 21:19, 22:24, 25:23,
29:22, Eph. 4:26, Matt. 5:22.
Happy verses to reflect on: Job 5:17, Psalms 127:4-5, 128:2, 144:15,
Psa146:5, Proverbs 3:13, 14:21, 16:20, 28:14, 29:18, John 13:17,
Acts 26:2, Romans 14:22, James 5:11, I Peter 3:14.