Lesson 9
I. Introduction.
Matthew 5:43-45 The author of "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff,"
in one of the chapters in his book discusses a conversation that
he had with a friend. He was asked by this friend, "Who said
life was going to be fair, or that it was even meant to be fair?"
I think that we, as Christians, sometimes get the idea that because
we are God's Children, life is suddenly going to be a bed of roses.
I have heard many Christians state that they expected things would
be very different after they were baptized. However, when problems
and cares remained, their faith, which had been so zealous, was
shaken.
II. Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn't Fair.
One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for
ourselves or for others, thinking that life should
be fair, or that someday it will be fair here on this earth. It's
not and it won't. When we make this mistake we tend to spend a
lot of time wallowing in self-pity and/or complaining about what's
wrong with life. We commiserate with others, discussing the injustices
of life. "It's not fair," we complain, not realizing
that, perhaps, it was never intended to be.
One of the nice things about surrendering to the fact that life isn't fair is that it keeps us from feeling sorry for ourselves by encouraging us to do the very best we can with what we have. Phil. 4:11-13. We know it's not God's job to make everything perfect, it's our own challenge. This insight will help us to deal with the problems of raising children, the difficult decisions we have to make about who to help and who I can't help (II Thess. 3:10-13), as well as our own personal struggles during those times that we have felt victimized or unfairly treated. It almost always wakes us up to reality and puts us on the right track.
The fact that life isn't fair doesn't mean we shouldn't do
everything in our power to improve our Christian lives of the
world around us. To the contrary, it suggests that we should.
When we do recognize that life isn't fair, we feel compassion
for others and for ourselves. Compassion is a heartfelt emotion
that delivers loving-kindness to everyone it touches. The next
time you find yourself thinking about the injustices of the world,
try to focus on compassion for others, love for God and others,
and the good things that have happened to you. You may be surprised
that it can nudge you out of self-pity and into helpful action.
III. Choose Your Battles Wisely. Ecc. 9:11.
Choose your battles wisely is a popular phrase in parenting, but
is equally important in living a contented life. It suggests that
life is filled with opportunities to choose between making a big
deal out of something or simply letting it go, realizing it really
doesn't mater. If you choose your battles wisely, you'll be far
more effective in winning those that are truly important.
Certainly there will be times when you will want or need to argue,
confront, or even fight for something you believe in. Many people,
however, argue confront, and fight over practically anything,
turning their lives into a series of battles over relatively "small
stuff." There is so much frustration in living this type
of life that you lose track of what is truly relevant.
The tiniest disagreement or glitch in your plans can be made into a big deal if your goal (conscious or unconscious) is to have everything work out in your favor.
The truth of the matter is, life is rarely exactly the way we want it to be, and other people often don't act as we would like them to. Moment to moment, there are aspects of life that we like and others that we don't; "life isn't fair." If you fight against this principle of life, you'll spend most of your life fighting battles.
A more peaceful way to live is to decide consciously which battles are worth fighting and which are better left alone. If your primary goal isn't to have everything work out perfectly, but instead, to live a relatively stress-free life, you'll find that most battles pull you away from your most tranquil feelings. Is it important that you prove to your spouse that you are right and he or she is wrong, or that you confront someone simply because it appears as though he or she has made a minor mistake? Does your preference of which restaurant or movie to go to matter enough to argue over it? Does a small scratch on your car really warrant a suit in small claims court? Does the fact that your neighbor won't park his car on a different part of the street have to be discussed at your family dinner table? These and thousands of other small things are what many people spend their lives fighting about. Take a look at your own list. You might want to reevaluate your priorities.
If you don't want to "sweat the small stuff," it's critical that you choose your battles wisely. If you do, there will come a day when you'll rarely feel the need to do battle.
Of course, we, as Christians, need to battle Satan and the
things of the world. However, there are times that, even in dealing
with others concerning Christ, we may need to choose our battles
wisely. Matt. 7:6.
Happy Verses: Ecc. 3:1-7, II Tim. 4:7-8.