Lesson 16
I. Introduction.
One of the ways that we, as human beings, tend to get ourselves
in trouble is to commit to too many things; we fail to say "No."
We say, Sure, I'll do it," or "No problem, I'll take
care of it," when deep down, we know we don't really want
to, or that we already have too much on our plates. Another way
that this can get us into trouble is to be drawn into things that
we know are wrong or that it is advisable to stay away from.
II. Learn to say NO without guilt.
The problem with always saying yes is two-fold. First, the end
result is almost always feeling overwhelmed, stressed and tired.
There is simply a point when enough is enough, a point of diminished
return when your attitude, spirit, even your productivity begins
to suffer. Your work suffers, as does your personal and family
life. By saying yes too often, we begin to feel victimized and
resentful that we have so much to do. Because we tend to feel
guilty, when we say no, it's often difficult to see that we were
the ones who got ourselves into this mess by failing to say no
more often.
The second major problem with failing to say no when it's appropriate to do so is that you end up with a slightly insincere attitude. In other words, you are doing things you really don't want to be doing or shouldn't be doing--but you are acting, on the surface, as if everything is just fine. For example, you'll agree to perform task or switch shifts with a coworker by saying, "Oh, it's all right," when what you really need is a day off yourself. Then, because you don't get your much-needed rest, you feel victimized by your overwhelming schedule or angry that so many people ask favors of you! Again, you played a key role in the creation of your own stress, but you believe the stress is caused by outside forces, or that it's inevitable.
Saying no without guilt is not selfish--it's a protective necessity. If someone said to you, "Can I have the air you breathe?" you'd probably question their sanity. You certainly wouldn't feel guilty saying no. Yet if someone says, "Can I ask you to do something for me that will push you over the edge and make you feel stressed out and resentful?", there are many times that you'll agree either out of habit, obligation, or simply guilt. Sure, the person probably didn't phrase the request like that, but in reality, that's what is being asked of you.
Obviously, there are many times that we can't say no, and many
other times when it's in our best interest to say yes or that
we simply want to say yes. Terrific! The trick is to use our wisdom,
instead of old knee jerk reactions, to decide when to say yes
and when to say no. The key is to be reflective, and ask yourself,
"All things considered, the feeling and needs of the person
making the request, the need to say yes, and your own sanity,
is it in my best interest to say yes, or is it okay to refuse?
Matt. 25:1-13, Luke 14:16-26, Judges 16:6-21
III. Don't let the negative coworkers get you down
Regardless of where you work or what you do for a living, it's
almost inevitable that you're going to have to deal with your
share of negative people. Some of these people are going to have
bad attitudes, others may be cynical or passive-aggressive, and
some are probably going to be downright angry.
Learning to deal with negative people is a real art form, but it is well worth the effort. Consider the options. If you don't learn the secrets of dealing effectively with negativity, then certainly there will times when these people will bring you down with them. Their negativity will rub off on you, and you'll end up discouraged, frustrated, or even depressed. If you don't do what's necessary to deal gracefully with people, you may yourself end up cynical and negative.
You can get to a point where negative people rarely, if ever, bring you down. the best place to start is to increase your level of compassion. It's critical to see the innocence, to understand that when someone is negative, they are unfulfilled or in some way unhappy. In most cases, they are not doing it on purpose. Like you, they would prefer to experience contentment and joy. They just don't know how.
Enthusiasm is our most natural state of being. In other words,
it's natural to feel inspired, positive, creative, interested
and uplifted by the work and the things that we choose to do.
When this quality is lacking, something is wrong. So, when someone
regularly expresses negativity, there is almost certainly something
missing in that person's life. That something is probably the
joy and peace found in Jesus Christ. When this is someone that
professes to be a Christian, drastic changes need to take place
in that person's life. Jesus is a source of comfort, peace, humility,
joy, and a positive attitude for the Christian. When two people
work together and one has a very negative attitude about everything,
one of two things usually happens. Either the negative person
will lower the spirits of the the more positive person or the
positive person will raise the spirits of the the negative. Your
best chance of stopping the effects of negativity is to remain
enthusiastic yourself. Be part of the solution rather than contributing
to the problem. Jonah 3:9-4:11, Job 2:7-10, Ephesians 2, 4:23.
Happy Verses: I Peter 1:13-23.