- Don't squat with your spurs on.
- Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n putting' it back in.
- If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
- If you get to thinking' you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
- After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him ... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
- Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
- There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
- If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
- Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
- It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
- When you're throwing' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.