INTRODUCTION:
A. We live in a society of anger & rage. From rage on the
highway to domestic violence to shootings in public schools. If
ever a society needed to learn how to handle anger, it is ours.
1. Young people live in a pressure cooker today - the academic
scores necessary to go to college, the taunting by other young
people, the inordinate strictness from their parents - all of
these things make young people want to explode in anger.
a. Not all anger is bad (Eph.4:26) but uncontrolled & ungodly
anger is the problem we need to get a handle on.
I. CONTROLLING ANGER
A. PATIENTLY (25:8)
1. Confess it - We need to admit we can get mad.
2. Consider it - "What is it that is making me upset?"
3. Control it - We can turn it on & off.
a. A good sense of humor can help (Prov. 17:22) Either we learn
to laugh at ourselves or we will live on the edge of anger 24
hours a day.
B. PRIVATELY (25:9-10)
1. After we have been patient & cooled down (v.8), then go
to the person who has done you wrong privately (Matt. 18:15)
a. Keep the circle of knowledge no bigger than the circle of need
by going to the person privately.
(1) If don't, someone else hears of the conflict & he makes
it known (v.10) In all conflicts, we need to cover it over with
love
(Prov. 17:9)
C. PRUDENTLY (25:11-13)
1.Words can either bruise or bless - they either hurt or heal.
God tells us to be selective with our words (Ps.141:3; Col.4:6)
a. Our words can refresh & cool down an opponent (25:11; 15:1,
23) Our words can smother an argument or pour kerosene on a fire
(26:20-21)
D. POWERFULLY (25:15)
1. We have more power doing it God's way than our own way. Strength
is power under control & when we control it, we have the power
to control the throne.
E. POSITIVELY (25:21-22)
1.Matt.5:39, 44 - the way to get rid of our enemies is to make
friends with them. Rom. 12:17-19 refers to the custom of neighbors
borrowing "coals of fire" when their fire went out.
If hold back coals because of a grudge, can't start a fire.
F. PERSONALLY (25:28)
1.When we don't rule our own spirit, we fly out of control (Eph.4:26)
& we open the door to the devil (v.27)
a.We are more vulnerable to Satan at such times. Instead of hurting
others, we hurt ourselves. "Anger is the acid that destroys
its own container."
1."He made me angry" - no, you made you angry. It is
our response to what they do that makes us angry.
b. If we don't rule our own spirit, all they have to do is push
the fight button &-they can make us angry any time they want.
Who is in control?
II. CAPTURED BY ANGER (EPH.4:31)
A. Bitter - the feeling of resentment (Heb. 12:15)
B. Wrath - a slow burn, a fire starting within
& it smolders & smolders.
C. Anger- outward hostility - the smoldering
rags in the attic burst into flames.
D. Clamor- vocal, loud - shouting during an argument.
E. Evil Speaking - we say things we never would
if not so angry.
F. Malice - viciousness - wanting to hurt someone
with fists or words.
III. CONQUERING ANGER
A. RECOGNIZE IT
1.Trace it back & ask, "Why am I such an angry person?"
Find out where the root of bitterness is.
B. REPENT
1. "Put away from you" (v. 31). Until we put it
away, we will never change. Change the mind & make the choice
to be done with anger.
C. RESIST
1.We need to kick the devil out of the place we gave to him (Jas.4:7)
D. RELY ON GOD
1.We need His help & strength to overcome this sinful habit.
Instead of throwing rocks in anger ("Sometimes there just
aren't enough rocks"), we need to lay down rocks of anger
rather reaching for more.
2. This has got to become a way of life with us (Gal.5:22-23)
Do you know what spills out whenever we are jostled by those around
us? Whatever we are full of.
a. If full of Jesus, somebody jostles us & the mind &
attitude of Jesus within us spills out. If full of anger, wrath,
frustration, that spills out.
(1) That happens long before the incident - it depends on what
we've stored up in our hearts.