INTRODUCTION:
A.Preparation & planning are essential to success in
any worthwhile venture & especially is that true regarding
marriage.
1."Our concept of marriage is so unrealistic. Too many people
spend all the time getting ready for the wedding & none for
the marriage."
2. We need to realize that marriages do not fail - people fail
- it is when individuals have ceased functiioning as responsible
human beings that marriages dissolve.
a. The ideal marriage is the merging of two mature personalities
with a wholesome attitude toward marriage, a commitment to it
& an openness to each other.
I. THE PREREQUISITES FOR MARRIAGE
A. THE ARCHITECT (Gen. 2:18, 24; Matt. 19:4-5)
1. Marriage is so serious because:
a.God is its author & architect (Gen.2:23-25)
b.It is life lasting (Rom.7:3; I Cor.7:39)
c.It influences so many people.
B. THE AUTHORIZATION
1.Those who have never been married (I Cor.7:8-9)
2.The spouse has died (Rom.7:2)
3.Put away a former spouse for fornication (Matt. 19:9)
C. THE ACQUAINTANCE
1. Dating
a.Getting to know the other person - gives the opportunity to
learn social manners & responsibility, to learn how to give
& take, how to be a friend & treat a friend, getting acquainted
with the opposite sex.
(1) A trial & error process which is a real proving ground
for maturity leading to marriage.
b. Get to know many persons of the opposite sex for the purpose
of comparison. Maturing process cut short by becoming too attached
to one.
2.The Engagement Period
a. A particular person has been selected above all others - from
freedoms of singleness to narrowing the attention to one person;
sacrificing self-interest.
(1) Toward the end of the engagement period, the basic questions
have been answered: man be the breadwinner (I Tim.5:8) - woman
needed full time at home (Tit.2:4-5)
b. Finding out the intimate convictions & feelings of each
other on vital matters: money, children, goals, values, families,
commitment to God.
(1) Is it okay to marry someone who isn't a Christian?
II. THE PURITY FOR MARRIAGE (HEB. 13:4)
A. THE DIGNITY
1.Hebrews emphasizes the superiority of the things of Christ,
thus, it should not surprise us that the new covenant gives the
highest possible view of marriage.
a. Marriage is to be treated as a thing of honor, a dear thing,
a thing highly prized or valued.
B. THE DEFILEMENT
1. The greatest degree of intimacy in marriage can be a thing
of purity or of defilement, a thing of soiling.
a. Fornication has become a way of living to some. Studies show
that only 6 % of people who have sacrificed their virginity have
gone more than a year before they committed fornication again.
(1) This is not new to our generation (I Pet.4:3-4) but these
early saints lived pure lives in the midst of an immoral society.
C. THE DANGER
1.We are accountable to God & will one day stand before Him
(2 Cor.5:10)
III. THE PERMANENCE OF MARRIAGE
A. THE COVENANT (Malachi 2:14-16)
1.There is a binding nature to marriage. If young people don't
want to be bound for life to their mote, they should not marry.
a. Marriage is a serious covenant. It is a vow they have made
between themselves with God as witness.
B. THE CESSATION
1. When two young people are married, they must leave father &
mother (Gen.2:24; Matt. 19:5). They must regulate their own affairs
& no longer depend on parents.
C. THE CLEAVING
1. It means to glue together - marriage is not supposed to come
apart- it's final. God joins them together but man wants to separate
them.
D. THE COMPANIONSHIP
1. Rocky said, "She's got gaps - I got gaps - together we
fill gaps." Each had empty places in their lives. Marriage
fills those blank spots.
a. Marriage is exciting because each day we get to know more about
our mate & that companionship draws us close.
(1) The Siamese brothers: "You can go ahead & fight if
you want but remember that if you kill the other fella, you die
too!"
b. We hurt our mates but we hurt ourselves too. Need to preserve
the one-flesh relationship.